Flawed Ratings Strike Again

I’m probably going to set some sort of record for most walkouts in a movie theatre. Sunday made it four.

We were hoping to have a nice family outing at the theatre. Deion wanted to see The Simpsons Movie, and I, a lifelong fan of the show, didn’t object to it. Normally, I check any movie I go to against movieguide.org, a movie review site with families in mind. This time I failed to do so because I had seen the Simpson’s so much, and though they can be out there sometimes, they don’t go too far overboard in my opinion.

I should have consulted the website.

From the opening scene, the movie was lewd, crude and inappropriate for anyone... not just kids. A blimp encouraging people to “binge drink responsibly” hovered above the band Green Day as they played on a river barge. Then, Nelson the bully was outside smoking packs of cigarettes with another kid. I began to sweat a little and I checked Deion’s facial expressions from time to time. A church scene where Homer rips into God didn’t help matters either.

Finally, the last straw for me was summed up in a scene with Bart and Homer.

Homer and Bart are playing a dare game in which Homer dares Bart to skate through town naked. Bart refuses, but finally does it after his father calls him a chicken and begins to taunt him. So Bart skates through Springfield in the buff. They cleverly cover his parts at every angle until the end of the scene where they show his genitals swinging as he’s riding his skateboard.
I looked at my son then towards my wife and gestured for them to get up so we can leave. As we did, we spoke with the manager, who gave us a refund. He too found the movie over the top as he had taken his little girls to see it.

Afterwards we had a great family discussion in the car about the lewdness of the film, about standing up for your convictions even if it seems embarrassing (i.e. walking out in a theatre and asking for a refund) and not accepting the moral filth of society. Deion admitted his disappointment, but he understood why we had to leave. I feel bad for him because he’s now at an age where he sees first hand how hard the fight is to go against the grain of society; that as a Christian family, we may miss out on a lot and people may laugh at us and dismiss our stance as “it’s not that big of a deal”, but in reality, it is a big deal and we’re gaining so much by not following suit since our hearts will never be calloused or hardened by going with the flow. He says he understands and I question if he does fully, but someday, he’ll appreciate the example we set. I never doubt that.

Chris

Irritable Dad Syndrome

I can’t believe how irritated I was with Jordan over the weekend. And to think that he didn’t do anything to deserve it. All he wanted to do was help me around the house, serve me by sharing his Hot Pockets with me, and make sure I stayed hydrated at the gym by refilling my water bottle, but grumpy old dad would have none of it. Instead, time and again I rejected his offers to share his lunch with me and to fill my water bottle at the gym and to help me cook dinner. I just wanted to be left alone. I didn’t want to hear about how his sleepover went or see the new cars he earned on his Need for Speed Carbon game. No. I was happy being a self-absorbed jerk face because it afforded me some mental R & R. But I listened to his stories because I had to and looked at his game screen because I’m supposed to bubble over with pride when he accomplishes anything.

But that’s not the worst of it…

I even went so far as to fantasize about what life would be like once the kids were gone and the nest was empty. How I was going to finally be able to relax and enjoy MY life. I even daydreamed about what I’d be doing right now at age 31 if I had NO kids. Wow, I thought. It was a Seuss moment: Oh the Places I’d go!

Then I was slapped hard by remorse and guilt for having such thoughts.

I had such an ugly heart and God really exposed it to me through my kids this weekend. So by Sunday night, repentance was in order and I took the boys out and we played basketball. It was good to sweat with my boys, to laugh with them and to play together.

Someday the nest will empty but it’s not going to be like my fantasies. I won’t celebrate their departure. No. Somehow I think it will be more heart breaking than liberating.

Chris

Memories have No Price Tag

It nearly moved me to tears to see the excitement on Deion’s face when David Beckham removed his warm-up jacket and trotted to center field at last night’s DC United – LA Galaxy match.

I promised him in the spring that I would take him to see the United play. This was before Becks signed with LA. Shortly after, the DC United put the tickets on sale and we jumped on it. Sure, we paid double for them, but the satisfaction of taking my son to see perhaps the world’s best soccer player made the price meaningless. I would have spent triple on them if I had to, just so he could see Beckham. The funny thing is that Deion originally didn’t want to go. Here’s why…

Each month, he is alotted a book allowance. We take him to Borders and he gets to buy two books – one for reading and one for entertainment, usually a graphic novel. So I told him that in order to see Beckham, he’d need to forfeit his book allowance for one month. That money would go towards the tickets. He wanted no part of that. So I shrugged it off and was prepared to order a single ticket. That’s when my wife stepped in and said her famous three word phrase, “Make him go.” So I ordered two.

He was upset at first when I told him he wouldn’t be getting any books, but he managed. He complained a little and griped about not having anything to read. But as the month went on, he got used to it and the idea of seeing pro soccer live began to excite him.

And that brings us to last night.

Having “nothing to read” didn’t seem to matter last night. He was having the time of his young life and I was overwhelmed with joy - as a father - and excitement - as a fan.

Now, he’ll always remember the night he saw David Beckham play. Memories like that are priceless. I remember when Jordan was younger, I took him to see Mia Hamm play. He still talks about that. But I don’t want to take any of the credit because I have my wife to thank. If I didn’t make him go, he would have missed out on a memorable father and son time. A priceless memory we both might have regretted once Becks retired. Thanks, babe.

Chris

No Love or Daddy

So Quincy is now a cool seven weeks old. Still not sleeping through the night, but he’s making strides. He can follow things a bit with his eyes and he’s starting to make sounds – (no crying doesn’t count as a sound!). I’m also finding that it’s great to have an infant around the house. It allows a man like me, with a mostly Type A personality, the excuse to rest and relax. But it’s the one that he’s not doing that I sometimes feel sad over.

He’s not bonding well with me.

I guess that comes with the turf for a dad. He can’t supply milk and he’s not as comforting as mama. And as hard as I try to hold him and cuddle with him, he kicks and screams until I give him back to mama. The only way he allows me to spend any time with him is when I take him out walking or if he’s just finished eating and he’s too full to care.

My wife says it will change and tells me to not be too greedy. She insists that I have the loyalty and love of Deion and Jordan and our dog, Huck, and that I should let her have Quincy. I suppose, but it’s just not that easy.

Chris