Lessons I Learned from an 8-Month Old

Quincy loves his new found mobility. Last night, we spend nearly an hour playing together on the bed. I tossed my business card holder from one end of the bed to the other and he in turn rolled himself over and crawled towards it until he reached it. Then he would try to eat it.
A couple of weeks ago, I was having floor time with him and he would get so bothered by the fact that he couldn’t reach things and couldn’t coordinate himself to crawl towards it. He would stretch and lunge, but he couldn’t bridge the gap. That’s no longer a problem for him. Now he giggles in delight when he reaches his destinations.

In watching this, I learned a lot from my little toddler-to-be:

1. Desire leads to progression. Two weeks ago, Quincy couldn’t crawl. His coordination was off. He’d lunge his right arm and try to push off from the same side of his body and would end up on his side. Through constant struggle, he figured it out and now, half-a-month later, he’s crawling.

I always understood this point, but seeing it lived through a life other helps me to be patient with myself as a husband, a father and a career man. As long as I have the desire and I’m stretching, the rest will somehow fall into place, like it did for Quincy.

2. Change comes fastest to the patient. Quincy can now hold his own sippy cup without creating a waterfall down his chin, adjust his pacifier and navigate himself in a chosen direction in his bouncy seat (it swivels). It seems like it all came to him at once, but it didn’t. But it didn’t take many months of training. He ‘go it’ pretty quickly because he wanted to do it.

Sometimes in my own life I want to be a master before I even learn the basics. I’ve learned in time that as a parent and husband, I had to fail first before I could get better. I had to be patient and take the time to learn what makes my wife tick and what language my kids understand. When I decided to life a day at a time, like Quincy, I grew in those areas faster. Now I know the answers to those questions, but I didn’t learn them by trying to master them overnight. It took patience.

3. Rejoice in all situations. Quincy is happy when he’s eating. He laughs as he strains to make poop in his diaper. He laughs when he’s being changed. He laughs when he pukes down the front of his shirt and mine. He even greets me with a smile as soon as he wakes up.

If there is anything within Quincy I want to emulate, it’s this. To be joyful when a poor test grade comes home, to be joyful when chores are half done. To be joyful when we’re outside playing in the woods. To be joyful when we’re doing anything together. Not that I’m happy about bad grades or disobedient children, but like Quincy, I’m just happy to love and to be loved by others. Happy to have a family to share embarrassing moments and silly times together. Happy to wake up and know that I’m going encounter something new today in my wife, in my kids, in my career and in myself.

Chris

A Long Layoff

First of all, let me apologize for the long layoff. It’s been a month since my last post. Life’s been hectic. I’ve been swamped with family responsibility, school functions with Deion, trying to spend more quality time with my wife and working quite a bit, but now it’s all under control and I’ve resolved to write regularly. In fact, I’ve assigned myself a writing accountability person to spur me on. I’m sure most of you relate to my struggles.

So what has life been like as a parent for me over the last month? I’ll share a few lessons I’ve learned about parenting over the past 30 days:

1. Video Game Magazines are Chock Full of Violence. We recently heard a sermon at church about violence intake and so I decided to perk my sensors up a bit and see how much violence we allow in the home. So when Deion’s Xbox magazine came through the door, I noticed that there were images of men with massive guns or hulking men wielding gigantic swords on every single page. I never really noticed before, but boys are spoon fed violence like it’s nobody’s business.

2. Babies Learn to Manipulate EARLY in Life. Quincy started the annoying habit of crying any time someone was eating and he was not. So much so that he screams to eat, too. My wife caught on one day at dinner and said “Stop it, Quincy” in a high pitched voice. He jumped in his seat, and then broke into giggles. That led us to believe that he knew what he was doing to a degree because she will give him the same silly, high pitched voice when he acts out and he giggles all the more.

3. Transitioning from Middle School to High School is a Headache. It seems like there’s something to read and sign every day now from school for Deion. He’s a few months from completing middle school and I’ve signed this form and read this policy and attended that orientation. It’s amazing. Why can’t we have one orientation and every form right there? But that makes too much sense, I suppose.

4. Quality, not Quantity Time. Though I’ve been busier now than usual, I’ve had to be creative in how I spend time with my boys. Last Sunday, we went to Loriella Park and ran through the woods and had stick fights. It was so much fun and it only took an hour of time to make them feel loved. Most nights of the week when I’m busy, I’ll play ‘winner-stays-on’ rounds of pool with Deion. If he wins, he gets to stay up later and continue to play pool against me. If he loses, then he has to go to bed on time. It’s been fun because he puts his heart into winning and it gives us more time together. It may be only that we play for 15 or 20 minutes, but he gets some of my time daily, which is important to me.

5. Don’t Miss a Teaching Moment. Last night, it was time for Deion to go to bed. I was watching the eclipse and he said, “Can I go to bed after the eclipse?” I said no because he just wanted an excuse to stay up. But then I thought about it. Why not make him watch it with me? So I went to his bedroom and told him we were going to watch the first half of the eclipse. He camped out on the floor by his window, pulled the blinds up and I sat on the floor next to him. Not only did we watch the eclipse, but we had an incredible time of conversation. I took the time to teach him about the stars, the moon, the planets, etc. I’m glad I made him watch it. He won’t see another for two-and-a-half years and it’s a memory he’ll likely be able to share with his kids in a similar situation someday.
Chris